


Breathe Me

by matan4il



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Drabble, Fix-It, M/M, With A Twist, only solution I can accept
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 09:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il
Summary: Aaron learns the truth.Title thanks to Sia's song,Breathe Me.This is the only fix I need and can accept. Which means it probably won't happen, so this is just to heal my wounded heart, to cry bitter tears over. Boy, am I selling this drabble! Hope you enjoy it anyway.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd, so all mistakes, bad characterization, bad grammar, bad editing, anything you need to complain about is on me. Except the source material bad characterization, that's on Emmerdale.

"You never slept together, did you?"

Rebecca goes completely pale. She doesn't know what it was she said precisely that gave her away, but she could notice some change in Aaron's expression. It appeared to have moved from assessing to knowing. Something seemed to get stuck in her throat as she tried to continue talking, continue placating him with her story. But her voice wavered as the recognition set in that Aaron was certain, that she wasn't fooling him at all. And once she could no longer force herself to mumble on, that's when he struck her with those words.  
"I..." she tries again, but it's obvious enough he's not really listening to her.

"Yeah," he cuts her, "you're right, Robert shouldn't have pressured you into getting an abortion back then if you didn't want one. And you deserved an apology from him if you wanted it. But what you don't get is the right to destroy his life. So I'm gonna make sure that you haven't whle you? You can do one and go back to wherever it was you crawled out of for the sake of your pathetic little attempt at payback. Your miserable imitation of a seduction, your phony pregnancy stories, nothing you try is going to work. You can't undo my trust in him. You may have been hurt, little girl, but some of us have had it worse and still wouldn't stoop as low as you have".

She tries to say something more, but he's already gone.

Aaron doesn't have to go too far to find Robert, cowering in a corner. His huge, lanky torso is hunched over, head bowed over his knees, hands holding on so tightly just above his ankles that it's like he's drowning and he's a mess of tears and shortness of breath, his whole body tremoring. Aaron can tell that even though Robert is not looking up, he's fully aware of his husband towering, for once, above him.

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" Robert's voice is choked and pure effort, trying to come across through a wave of hopelessness and inutility.

Aaron's calm. "You didn't actually sleep with her, Robert," he says, unmoving.

Robert stills for a brief second, then the slight shaking's back. He nods almost impreceptibly, before he repeats the words, yet with no question mark this time. "You're leaving me". 

"You didn't have sex," Aaron says, trying to get through, wondering if the upset is causing the meaning of the words to get lost. Robert quickly nods again, more pronounced this time, and then he adds, "but I was going to. I got so drunk, I may not remember everything... but I remember how badly everything hurt and that there was just one thing to do with all of it. I was going to and you know it, and you should, I can't lose you," his voice rises a tone, chokes a little, "I can't, but you do, you should lea..." his speech was cracking more and more, before giving in completely to unrestrained sobbing that wrecks his entire body over.

Above him, Robert can hear a soft sigh and Aaron leans down over him, covering the taller man's frame with his full embrace. He wants to take comfort in the familiar touch, has to fight his urges to cling to it forever and the knowledge of the impending doom only serves to remind him of how cold the world will be after this embrace is gone. Robert can then feel hands reaching to raise his head, caress his cheeks and, eventually, force his gaze to meet fountains of blue emotion, startlingly devoid of rage.

"You were going to, yes. And in order to go through with it, you had to get so drunk that you didn't actually do it. What does that tell you, Robert?" He'd like to be able to answer Aaron, but he remains silent as he's so lost in how much he loves this man before him, how terrified he is of losing everything they have together and how much he can't bare to think he's hearing what he thinks he might be because hope, false hope may just crush him irreversibly.

Aaron's tone is patient in a way Robert can't quite grasp. "I suspected back in prison, you know? And I did sort of understand. I was a mess and you were a mess. And I know you felt you had every reason to cheat. I know you had every compulsion to. What I didn't know is you couldn't go through with it, with hurting us, with hurting me that much. Not all the way. You know, the counsellor would call your cheating self-destruction. And," he smiles, kind of amused, "you pretty much destroyed that yourself." He's voice deepens back down to seriousness again. "You're a better man than you give yourself credit for, Robert Sugden. You make stupid mistakes sometimes. And you definitely did lie about it all. I bet you weren't half nice to Rebecca while she was fabricating her sex and pregnancy stories to torment you, either. But you're a good man and you can't hide that from me. So yeah, we have a few things we need to sort out. A lot, even. But I'm not leaving you, Mr. Dingle. I'm messed up and you're messed up and this is forever. So you better get used to it".  
Aaron kisses him. There are other things Robert should say, needs to say, to apologize, to tell Aaron how deeply he regretted all of it, to make sure that they truly are ok, that they will figure out a way to deal with this, together, and not just sweep it under the rug. But that can wait just a while longer, because, yes. He thought he had failed Aaron, himself and everyone that mattered to him nowadays, he had to scramble to try and deal without having any idea how to fix any of it, he had to look on in horror as his now-informed husband confronted the woman who tried to come between them in order to destroy him and in that moment he became convinced that after everything, it was all over. But now Robert let go of everything and gasped into the kiss because for the first time since he had to face the possibility of a life without Aaron, finally, finally, he could breathe.


End file.
